sign o' the times

I'm driving along this afternoon deciding who to crush and who I'll spare when somebody throws a spanner right into the middle of my poor excuse for a thought process. I've decided to run right over the top of the car I'm catching up to. Catching it quite quickly now; hardly any sport at all in this one. Drawing close now, it's go time. Closing in for the kill now. ...Here...we ....OH NOO. I can't. The little sign in the window prevents me from success. Baby on Board Just in time I see it. Funny thing; baby is nowhere to be seen. If a baby is indeed on board the "craft" in front of me, it could well be trapped inside the trunk. Or perhaps it's a preemie that's been left inside the console or glove box (ever see gloves in a glove box? Ever?). I start flashing my lights and sounding the horn. Baby must be saved. The driver on board is having none of this. He's going faster and faster. I can't catch him. What's going on here? A kidnapping perhaps? Is there an Amber Alert? Just when I thought all hope was lost, I see a police car on the shoulder up ahead. The traffic  slows from warp speed to a near crawl. I find myself behind the hidden baby craft. I once again try to gain the attention of the driver on board but he gives me the finger! Probably should've stuck to "Plan A" and driven right over the car with no visible baby on board to squash the driver on board. That's what I tend to do when I don't see a little yellow sign.

Clairvoidance

I've come to realize from driving around the country that there are certain signs to look out for. There are certain cars, colors of cars, sets of occupants,etc that often spell trouble for me on the road.  BUT... there is one thing that, when combined with  these trouble signs, takes the danger to a whole new level. I'm referring of course to the "OBAMA" bumper sticker. Bumper stickers in general are a sore spot with me. What on earth possesses an otherwise intelligent adult to deface what for most people is their second most valuable possession? Never mind that I don't need to know that your precious snowflake is an honor student at Millard Fillmore Junior High. What's that? You brake for bingo?! Well thanks for sharing that useless morsel of information.  I've veered of course alittle; on to the dreaded OBAMA sticker. Firstly it appears as gloating. "I picked the winner!" Big deal. The guy won by default. Barely won the popular vote. And everyone knows he was for many simply the lesser of two evils. The choice of Biden aside, people were hoping to not have more of the same old same old. The elections over. Time to move on. I'm veering again. Nothing invokes more fear in the hearts of men than the sight of a Prius with an OBAMA bumper sticker on it. Run for the hills. Who are these people and what happened to them? There is just no way these drivers reached the age of consent driving so erradically. I thought it was just me,as it often is, but several of my co-workers have the same opinion. I think they drive around watching the fuel meter in the car, smug in the knowledge that they paid $10,000 too much for a car  in order to save $7500 in fuel costs. SWEET. These drivers go slow up the hills and fast down. Since that's the way a big truck negotiates hills as well, they are impossible to pass. Plus, I've yet to encounter an OBAMA Prius that doesn't speed up to prevent you from getting by. Of course, once i pull back in behind it, it slows way down so the fuel meter is more fun to watch. Why do people see the Prius as being "green" anyway? Sure, it sips fuel; but at what cost to the environment? Where do the materials come from for the batteries? They come from mines. Few industries leave a bigger mark on the earth than mining. What will become of all the discarded batteries when they fail? they'll be discarded. What of all the ozone emissions replacing carbon emissions? We shall see. Or perhaps our granchildren shall see.